Saturday, April 16, 2005

The SOG Identity

Urgent alert! We have just discovered through reliable sources that SOG is not who she claims to be! You look surprised – I was too, I’ve known her for years, but I have proof.

As you know, she has several aliases: Joy, Granny, Mom, Mrs. Jones (there are probably others), but in her blazon confidence, she has recently been known to use the name, SOG, which she claims stands for "Silly Old Granny". By using this name, she has made a critical error, giving us the clue we needed to discover her true identity.

SOG originally stood for Studies and Observation Group, an elite joint services military group designed for covert operations in the Vietnam War. Its existence was once denied by the US Government and it wasn't until long after the war that the SOG Story could even be told.

The following is an excerpt from US ELITE FORCES-VIETNAM by Leroy Thompson that further describes the nature of this specialized group and its secret missions.

“Separate from "conventional," unconventional operations of the 5th Special Forces Group were the clandestine operations of Military Assistance Command Vietnam/Studies and Observations Group (MACV/SOG). The Studies and Observation Group (SOG) was a cover name to disguise SOG's real function, and the name "Special Operations Group," as it was sometimes called, described its real mission more accurately.
Activated in January of 1964, SOG was a joint services unit composed of members from all four branches of the armed forces, including Navy SEALs, Marine Recons, Air Force Special Operations pilots of the 90th Special Operations Wing, but predominantly Army Special Forces.
MACV/SOG's missions included: cross border operations into Cambodia, Laos and North Vietnam to carry out intelligence gathering or raiding missions on the enemy's 'home ground'; gathering intelligence about POWs and carrying out rescue missions when possible; rescuing downed aircrews in enemy territory ("Bright Light" missions); training, inserting, and controlling agents in North Vietnam to gather intelligence or form resistance groups; carrying out 'black' Psy Ops such as operating fake broadcasting stations inside North Vietnam; kidnapping or assassinating key enemy personnel; retrieving sensitive document so equipment lost in enemy territory or in enemy hands; and inserting rigged mortar rounds or other booby-trapped ordnance in enemy arms caches (OPERATION ELDEST SON).”

-Leroy Thompson. US Elite Forces-Vietnam. No. 7. Texas: Squadron/Signal, 1985. 27.

So you see there can be no doubt that this so called “Silly Old Granny” is in fact a member of the Special Operations Group, and she is now trying to assimilate back into society until her next assignment comes up.

Knowing this makes the world suddenly seem like a very unsure place. I know, I know. I understand. But don’t worry because we are having her closely watched. You know all those huge white SUV's all over East Texas with women driving around with one or two kids in them? Well, those are our people. The kids are really highly trained military little people.

We’re going to bring her in for questioning when she least expects it to get some answers to the pressing questions – like: Who really shot JFK? Who really shot JR? Did we really land on the moon? What time will supper be ready? You know, the important stuff.

5 comments:

quirky said...

uh...wow

# 47 said...

You forgot the most important question!!


Where IS Cox's army?!


And yet, we of the press will justify no claims to such discoveries until pictorial proof is presented (and we can work alliterations in too, aren't we cool?)

Shiloh said...

Ooooh just wait!!! Give me Benny, Photo Shop, and a little time and we'll have some doozies!

S.O. G. said...

Hey, hold on. I'll give you a few hints. Cox's Army eats Texas chicken fried steak and Holcomb gravy and lots of it. And other things, as well. (not a sentence but then, S.O. G.s can take literary license in unusual ways when they like)_ You all are making this much too complicated. It's very simple. S. O. G.'s favorite color is pink, loves the sunset and the sunrise, simply adores the rain, and wants to write a book about women (but doesn't have time). And when she dies, at her celebration (funeral), she wants a fan blowing in her casket so her hair doesn't looked "fixed". Now, that should be easy to figure out!!
Love to all

Shiloh said...

OK, that all makes sense.

You're off the hook
... for now.